I’ve been alternative since highschool, and at 37 I’m still stomping around in leather, all black, and combat boots covered in spikes. This was never a phase. This is my final form.

Which is why fall sends me into actual outfit decision paralysis. I get too excited, too many layers, too many textures, too many witch-aesthetic possibilities, and suddenly I’m lost in a pile of cardigans and existential dread.

So this year, I’m keeping it feral but functional, and I made myself some Chilling Adventures of Sabrina inspired fall outfit formulas to stay hot without melting down.

I’m spooky year-round, but since we’re officially in end-of-October season, I’ve been rewatching Sabrina (both the Netflix reboot and the 90s). And honestly? Every single outfit has me rethinking my entire closet.

These formulas are for people who want to look like the hottest witch in the room…

Everything comes from:

• your current closet first

• the thrift store second (or online thirfts finds)

• and only if necessary, one or two intentional small-business staples

Outfits inspired by dark-academia-meets-Sabrina energy 

These outfits will carry you well into deep December. Zero trend-chasing. Just literal outfit math you can run on autopilot, so bookmark this article for later. 

Graphic Sweatshirt/Longsleeve Formula 

Opaque tights + oversized graphic sweatshirt made by Letter Shoppe + long skirt + platform boots

Why it works: statement up top, cozy everywhere else, intelligence without effort

Vibe: farmer’s market / Target run / compliment-bait while conserving energy

Casual Skirt Formula 

Oversized knit sweater + opaque tights + midi or mini skirt + chunky boots

Why it works: high texture contrast + effortless silhouette + looks styled without trying

Vibe: coffee shop / art supply run / low-social-energy but not hiding

Dark Academia Dress Formula

Sheer tights + collared longsleeve + pattern dress + loafers with frilly socks 

Why it works: Sabrina-coded uniform, think schoolgirl structure without discomfort

Vibe: bookstore wandering / museum date / introvert who radiates power quietly

Alt Riot Layer Formula

Graphic tee made by Letter Shoppe + striped mesh or long-sleeve underlayer + bold plaid trousers + studded belt + classic Converse

Why it works: it’s grunge-meets-chaotic-scholar with intentional clashing but unified by contrast + repetition (black accents in belt / stripes / tee anchor the loud yellow). Feels messy on purpose, not accidental.

Vibe: “I will argue astrology AND overthrow capitalism before lunch, then go home and design merch about it”

Soft Romantic Dress Formula

Opaque tights + turtleneck + textured/pattern dress + boots

Why it works: soft armor silhouette that's romantic, layered, sleepable-in

Vibe: moody dinner / long walk in cold air / emotionally available witch

Dark Librarian Trouser Formula

Patterned cigarette trousers + turtle neck + chunky boots + oversized cardigan

Why it works: business-adjacent silhouette disguised in full comfort fabrics

Vibe: pretending to be a functioning professional adult for 2–4 hours max

Witchy Long Skirt Formula

Long textured skirt + turtleneck or lace longsleeve + platform boots

Why it works: dramatic movement + ultra-flattering vertical line + texture is doing all the magic

Vibe: cemetery walk / night market energy / “my eyeliner is a weapon”

Relaxed Graphic Tee Formula

Mini or long skirt + oversized graphic tee made by Letter Shoppe + long sleeve layered under + tall socks + combat boots

Why it works: zero brain effort with a graphic carries the outfit, silhouette balances it

Vibe: half feral errand day / playlist on / absolutely not making eye contact with anyone

Your Turn: Pick Your Fall Outfit Formula

Which one felt the most like you right now, 01 through 15? Drop your fighter number in the comments.

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